I wanted to make that dedicated to God. To... have some approximation of my love for Him on this website. I don't think I can stomach doing it.

I don't know why. But it makes me feel sick. To try and show my love for Him in some easily digestible, simple page. Maybe with some pretty pictures people have made for Him. I don't know how I even got the idea in my head, that it was something I had to do.

Maybe it was the men on television. The way they buy and sell God, make Him marketable, profitable. I don't make a profit from this, of course. But that concept makes sense to me. To make the Lord more accessible.

But what could I say to make people love God in the way I do? It seems even other Christians don't. I'm not good with words, either. I could stumble my way through some half-approximation of my reverence, but what would be the point?

They wouldn't be looking at God. They would be looking at me.