God taught me how to fear death. I don't think I ever had a reason to before my Mother told me what death was, in her eyes. Complete dissolution of whatever it is made me. I found the thought immensely comforting. I think this was my greatest hurdle with Faith. The acceptance of my self as endless. Of course, that's what I thought at first. When I realized that, in Heaven, I wouldn't be myself, I would just be another who worshipped our Lord, I think I found it less terrifying. I could rationalize it. I could rationalize my own end. I couldn't exist as myself forever. As a servant, though? I could do that.